Chase is Upset With You
by SnapeIsMyEscape
Summary: Chase Young is veeeeeery upset with -SnapeIsMyEscape-... Humorous. Now with twenty percent more Mary Sue death!
1. Chapter 1

"Oh mother…THIS IS NOT FAIR, DAMNIT!"

"Since when did I play fair?" Chase Young asked, a smirk playing across his face. "You've been writing long enough to know that Chase Young doesn't know the meaning of 'fair.'"

"But- but- I'm a narrator! YOU CAN'T JUST KILL THE NARRATOR! I swear that if you let me go- no more Wuya pairings!"

Chase looked contemplative. "Throw in a Kimiko and remove that disgusting Chack you have up and you've got a deal."

"But that fic has, like fifty reviews! All right, fine!" the young girl said when the Immortal raised his hand in preparation to snap, "I'll get rid of the Chack, just please let me go! I'm too young to die!"

Chase chortled. "Good girl." He snapped his fingers and the Big Cats that were surrounding the girl. "Now get out of my sight," the man hissed. The girl nodded vigorously and fled through the front doors.

"Next," the Evil Prince called, sitting back comfortably in his chair.

Another girl walked in. She looked to be about sixteen and had short, dark brown hair that was down to her chin. She was wearing a black tank top with colorful designs on the front, blue jeans and converses. "Hey, Chase," she said somewhat nervously. "What a pleasant surprise it was when I found the invitation on my pillow, asking me here…again."

Chase sighed, sitting forward and tapping his fingers on the armrests. "Alison," he addressed the girl, who stiffened at the slightly hostile tone, "Welcome back." There was a slight pause where Alison gulped, trying to keep from shaking. "Do you have any idea why you're here?"

"Well," the girl said slowly, "I've started a new Tom Hermione fanfic…"

Chase sighed again. "It isn't that." he said, irritated. "It's because you made your one story- ugh, what's it called…" the immortal shifted through some papers that appeared in his hands, "Ah! The Evil In Our Hearts. You made The Evil In Our Hearts a cliff hanger. The fans want more! _I_ want more."

Alison chuckled uneasily. "Well, I thank you for the compliment," she said, bowing her head slightly, "But I need to focus on my other work a little. You know, give other kids what they want."

The Immortal growled. "What about what I want, hm? I thought I meant more to you then that."

"You do!" the girl said quickly, "But I have two other works that need attention. They're like babies, stories. You produce them, care for them and others fawn over them."

Chase narrowed his eyes. "Well, make another baby, then!"

There was a thick silence before the youth started snickering. "Only if you'll be the father," she muttered under her breath.

"What was that?"

Alison stopped laughing. "Oh, uh- nothing."

"Well, then," Chase continued, "Hop to it! I give you two days for the first chapter!"

The girl sighed, defeated. "Yes, sir." She deadpanned, turning around and starting for the door. "Stupid Immortals…" she added to herself, "Think they own the place…"

_Fin_

A/N: Yes, there will be a sequel, but I need to get myself together, first. XP


	2. Mary Sue Satire

"OW!"

A seventeen year old brunette girl was jarred awake by a loud, piercing voice. Sitting up groggily, she asked, "Whatsamatter?" vaguely and looked blurrily at her alarm clock. Four o'clock AM blinked back at her.

"Nice going, Jack," hissed a female voice from the darkness.

"It's not my fault! I can't see and there's so much crap on the floor - "

"Jack? Wuya?" the teen rubbed her eyes and turned on her bedside lamp. "What in the world are you doing here?"

The Heylin witch grinned toothily at the drowsy youth. "Chase sent us."

The girl groaned and flopped back down onto her pillow. "Can't it wait 'til morning?" she questioned with a yawn, "I have a date with my pillow, you know." She proceeded to wrap her arms possessively around her fluffy bedmate.

The witch sighed. "If only it were that simple," she said dramatically, "But Chase said it was really important."

"Yeah," Jack cu in, nursing his stubbed toe, "He said it was a matter of life and death."

The girl sighed and sat back up. "That's what he _always_ says," she complained while swinging her legs to the floor. "Alright," she conceded, stretching her arms, "Let me pull a shirt on…"

"Please do," Wuya replied with contempt, turning her nose up at the teen. "You really should wear something more then a bra to sleep, Alison. It's uncouth."

Alison smiled. "Only to those who don't appreciate the subtleties of the female body." She strode over to her closet and pulled out a loose band shirt. "This 'couth' enough for you, Wuya?"

The witch sneered, offering no other reply.

As Alison pulled the shirt over her she asked, "What's wrong this time? Did he find out Santa Clause isn't real?"

Wuya let out a bark of laughter. "As amusing as that would be, no. I don't know what he wants this time." She examined her nails, ignoring the girls snort of annoyance.

"Let's just get this over with, shall we?" Alison stretched again, her pajama pants flashing her ankles.

Wuya rolled her eyes, muttered "Fine," and grabbed both Jack and Alison by the wrist before teleporting into Chase Young's throne room.

The sight that met their eyes was both amusing and frightening: a young girl with sleek purple hair was doting over the evil overlord in typical anime fashion; jumping back and fourth around him with a dumb expression on her face, asking him questions that meant nothing to him ("Are you alright Chase? Would you like some soup? Are you comfortable?")

Alison had to hold back her laughter as she approached Chase. "You called, Chase?" her tone held an unrestrained mirth that made Chase scowl farther.

"Yes, I did, Locke." he hissed through clenched teeth. "For reasons most apparent."

The brunette shook her head. "Who's this?" she asked, jerking her head to the now still woman.

"My name's Francesca Louisa Raven Sky Moon Hattie Juniper December Valentine the third and I'm going to marry Chase Young!" shrilled the girl, clutching Chase's arm in a disgusting manner.

Alison barely contained her laughter as she asked, "Is that right? Well, congratulations Francesca!"

"Don't call me that," the girl spat, "Call me Mary! I've always liked that name."

"Well, alright Mary," Alison complied, taking a hesitant step towards the crazed youth, "I think you should step away from Chase now. He doesn't look too happy."

"But I wub him!" Mary cried, clutching his arm more fierely.

Sighing, Alison said, "Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you." She then proceeded to pull out a piece of paper and a pen. "Now, could you say your name a little more slowly, please?"

Mary, albeit confused, repeated her name slowly and clearly. Alison nodded and continued scribbling.

After a few moments of lingering silence, Mary screamed. Her skin started to melt off of her bones, the perfectly pale pigmentation mimicking candle wax. "You cursed brat! Look what you've done! I'm melting! I'm melting! Oh, what a world, what a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness? Oooooh, look out! I'm going! Oooooh! Ooooooh!" She was soon a puddle on the floor, the only sounds coming from her the soft gurgling of burned flesh.

Chase sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I'm not cleaning that up."

"What, no thank you?" Alison scoffed, crumpling up the paper and throwing it on the puddle. "I just saved your life! Well, maybe not your life, but I saved you a LOPT of headaches."

Chase grimaced and leaned forward. "If you would just teach me how you do that then I could save myself!"

"Ah," the teen replied, winking brazenly, "but an author never reveals her secrets."

Shaking his head, Chase rose and paced towards her. "I could just force you to tell me," he said slyly, a predatory glint in his golden eyes.

"Sure you could," Alison concurred, "But then where would the fun in that be?"

_Fin_


	3. Unexpected Visit

"Next."

It had been a rather long day for Alison. With the holidays growing nearer, her workload doubled as customers poured in to buy everything from pre-cooked dinners to gift cards. The number of people in her line ebbed and flowed as if it itself were alive, a snake sitting placidly before slithering wildly. It didn't bother Alison too much, but she did find herself growing weary as the sun went down.

As she moved the bar separating her from the next order she greeted her next customer without looking up. "Hello. How are you today?"

"Hello, Miss Locke. It certainly has been a while."

The young woman's hands froze as she quickly looked up into the eyes of Chase Young, the golden yellow orbs dancing with mirth at her surprise. "Chase," she almost gasped, "What are you doing here?"

With a smirk he replied, "Buying supplies. Evil needs to eat, too."

Alison looked behind him and saw that he was accompanied by Wuya and Jack. "I wasn't aware Evil had a budget to take the dark trio halfway around the world." she quipped, a half smile forming on her face as she proceeded to scan the Heylin Prince's items.

Chase narrowed his eyes. "It would seem that you still have your sense of humor," said he with a frown, "Though I hardly find it appropriate for you to joke about finances. You're living on a cashier's salary. I can get money from wherever I want."

"Yes you certainly can, Chase," Wuya agreed hastily, leaning on his shoulder. Chase scowled. "You can do anything."

Alison rolled her eyes, looking at Spicer "How about you, Jack? Still building robots?"

The teen nodded. "Yup. They're even better than last time you saw." His voice was calm, which surprised the cashier. Before he would have been gushing all over the place, but now he stood quietly, a serious look on his face. Alison gave him a quirky smile.

"Settled down a bit, eh? Good for you."

Chase cleared his throat, taking none too kindly to being ignored. "What has kept you so busy, Alison, that you can't even visit anymore? I thought I was more important than that."

With a small laugh, the girl said, "I have a life outside of yours, Chase. Always have. You're not the only man I know."

"Well, I'm certainly the best looking."

"I doubt that."

Eight eyes turned their gazes onto the newcomer; a tall, pale skinned man with dark blue eyes, shaggy brown hair and an omnipresent smirk. He was standing at the end of the register with his arms crossed over his chest; how long he had been there eluded them all.

Alison looked surprised by the man's appearance. She stared at him a minute before exclaiming, "Oh! Everyone, this is Bernard. He's...new."

The Heylin trio looked at him with slight mistrust. "New?" Wuya asked, incredulous. "What does that mean?"

"She created me," Bernard said lazily, "And I do what she tells me."

Chase, Wuya and Jack all looked back at the teenaged girl, who was now blushing. "He's from the book I'm writing about he and his brother. Bernard is a - "

"Not in public!" Bernard hissed, now next to the woman, "Do you want me killed?"

Alison shook her head, more out of annoyance than compliance. "No one will kill you, Bernard. It's not like anyone will really believe me, anyway. He's a vampire," she explained to the puzzled Heylin, "But he isn't a very good one."

"I'm a good vampire! What are you talking about?" Bernard said with a huff. He didn't wait for an answer, opting instead to flounce away and call over his shoulder, "I'm going to find Fen. He isn't mean to me."

Shaking her head, the girl started bagging. "That's what I get for creating a vampire. A whole lot of unneeded drama." With a laugh she looked up at her customers. "What are you looking at me like that for, Chase?"

Chase looked...angry, to say the least. His golden eyes were alight with a fire more intense than usual and his hands were clenched into angry fists. Even Wuya, who was used to Young's anger, shuffled uselessly away from his side.

"You have replaced me," Chase accused through gritted teeth, "You've replaced me with that - that - "

"Vampire?" Alison finished, running her hand trough her hair, her discomfort obvious. "I know that's how it looks, but I really never intended for him to follow me around. I fully expected he and his brother to go out on their own, but they've stuck around." She gave a sheepish smile, pressing something on her register. "Fourty five fifteen is your total. Do you have a bonus card you'd like to use?"

"Eight six seven five three oh nine," Jack said quietly, leaning on the belt. "Jenny's number."

The young woman punched the numbers in with a lopsided grin. "Your total is thirty nine eighty seven. Would you like to buy a book of stamps tonight?"

"Stop avoiding the conversation!" Young bellowed, smacking his hand on the metal bagging area. A coworker walked cautiously over.

"Is everything okay, babe?" she asked, her voice slightly accented.

Alison nodded, an apologetic smile on her face. "Yeah, Irene, everything's fine. This...gentleman is just upset that I have friends other than him. He's egotistical."

Irene nodded slowly before walking away, worry evident in her slow gait.

"I am not egotistical," Chase seethed, "I just happen to know I'm better than you treat me."

"Tell it to Judge Pirro," Alison mocked, "Are you going to pay or what?"

Jack pulled out his wallet, taking two twenties out. "There you go," he said, not looking the cashier in the eye as he handed the money to her, "You can keep the change."

"That's another thing, Chase," Alison commented as the money drawer opened, "What did you do to Jack?"

"I'm not actually Jack Spicer. I'm a robot."

"Oh. Well then. Carry on." As she pocketed the change the young woman looked at the motley crew before her. "Have a great evening. Next."


End file.
